This piece of madness brought to you by BDC:
It was the night before spoiler season and all through The Magic Tavern
We were busy spinning theories; as much Vorthos as we could Churn!
When upon all social media there arose such a shout
I know what you’re thinking out there besides that BDC is a bad poet. As it has been all week, you’ve either been screaming for the spoiled card of Vorniclex to be bogus or you’ve been praying real hard that it’s not. I personally have no horse in the race, but I can’t deny that nagging feeling I have; can’t defy what my eyes have seen. So let’s look at the…uh…facts?
Now, whether it’s fake or not (I’m betting not), if you’ve been in Magic long enough, you can’t help but begin to turn the possibilities around in your head. I wasn’t around during the whole Yawgmoth/Phyrexian hellfest, so, as I stated before, have no real reason for it to go either way. But, besides the fact that the card to your left looks damn authentic, you can’t help but wonder what happened to the Praetors. And, in turn, begin to look at the spoilers given so far and begin to consider that there might be something to all of this.
First of all, there is this metal piece of art. Kaya has arrived to fight something that looks like a feral Garruk (That’s somewhat repetitive isn’t it). But it’s not Garruk or at least I don’t think it is. It was a theory at one point. But, whatever it is, it’s the focus of the planeswalker whose face is on the box! I spent way too long staring at this graphic trying to discern some form of information to no avail. And, although I came up empty at the time, I could help but return to it and begin to wonder: Was there something familiar about this pic besides the whole Garruk thing?
I kept coming back to the same thing. It slightly resembled a certain Phyrexian we either wanted badly in Kaldheim or not at all. The teethy maul, the wild mane beneath shoulder plates. Now, I may have stared way too long into the abyss, but I damn near am certain that Vorinclex stared back.
Mind you, it’s not an exact representation, but it reminds me of an artists rendering of what was seen in the wilds of Kaldheim. It’s a painter’s attempt to catch on canvas what it was he was fleeing from. On top of that, they were trying to make it look ‘metal’. So, artistic liberties may have been taken.
IF it was just that, I’d leave it alone. But the graphic below depicting the Sword of the Reams, the very object of power that EVERYONE even Tibalt wants to own, is shown skewering what looks like a Viking evolving into something…Phyrexian.
The Viking seen eating the Sword of the Realms above could just be wearing a helmet, sure. But that toothy maw? No, it totally looks like this poor sap is developing plate; not just wearing it. And the mouth on this guy is definitely something alien. Now, it COULD be one of the Kaldheim demons we saw in the first graphic at the feet of the beast. But look how his armor looks like it’s growing from him. No, this pic is more than meets the eye at first glance.
And what is up with Kaldheim’s giants? Especially those who play in the lava. They seem to be wearing elaborate masks and helmets. Wouldn’t that get kind of hot? Or maybe it’s become a natural part of their being through some sort of metamorphasis or…evolution.
Now, I could be making more of this than need be. I guess we’ll find out tomorrow. But, I have one more entry to the crazy conspiracy train.
THIS GUY! Look close. Maybe he’s a demon. Maybe he’s just a crazed berserker. But that skull looking head looks like it could be a helmet or it could be plates that have grown there. And the armor on his shoulder has that same effect of seeming to grow out of his skin and taking over his upper body. Either way, I can’t wait to hear HIS story.
And speaking of stories. The teaser announcement that’s been jumping around Twitter the last two days also gives me reason to pause. We know Kaya. We know Tibalt. But who the hell is behind the Sword of the Realms?
At first, I though Cthulhu or a mindflayer. But, I realized what I thought was tendrils was, in fact, the limbs of the world tree looking quite withered. Is this connected to the whole Phyrexian thing? Has Yawgmoth returned from the grave? Has he finally acheived in the throws of death what he could not gain in life? Is Yawgmoth a planeswalker? Probably not. But what ever the purpose, if this entity is connected to Vorinclex or not, its eyes are on the sword. And the above picture, being a major advertisement and clue to what Wotc is up to, holds all the truths about what’s actually happening in Kaldheim.
Bottom line? We find out tomorrow. And I’m as excited as one needs to be on the eve of official spoiler season. I feel Wotc has done well and Kaldheim will be an enjoyable and game changing addition to the meta. My imagination runs wild at all the possibilities, obviously, but I feel positive that they will have to work hard to disappoint me now.
I leave you with the flavor text found on the card Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite, another feared Praetor:
“The Gitaxians whisper among themselves of other worlds. If they exist, we must bring Phyrexia’s magnificence to them!”
And…here’s some cool Phyrexian artwork:
AoE Table Top 